Karabiner Mountaineering Club

July 1998 Newsletter Meet Reports

The KMC Fell Race Results

The threat from Heir Editor that if my meet report wasn't ready for this issue of Pravda I would be driven by Chris Williamson to rendezvous with Al Metelko for a night time assault on some slimy Welsh classic has paid dividends.

This year's Fell Race was a tortoise and hare event, with the two main roles played by Lorna Marsland and Mark Williams respectively (at least once the handicap system had kicked in).

There was a staggered launch of the runners onto the course, with those boot, rucsac and paunch laden runners heading off first, shortly followed by the walsh wearing whippets, and finally bringing up the rear a small category of one for those chronometrically challenged (i.e. BST and Smailliw Knarf - mentioning no names!!)

The course was basically from the Wheatchief pub in Old Glossop, up the grouse buts on Cock hill, bog trotting over towards Bleaklow, a sharp descent to join Doctors Gate, back towards Glossop with a short detour up Shire Hill (not appreciated by many of the runners it would seem), before a final sprint back up to the pub, where I checked them in whilst enjoying a fine pint of Guinness (I'd done the run the day before - promise). For military reasons the only numerical facts I am permitted to reveal about the course are that it was essentially a gentle ramble along a little over 3 miles of good quality peak paths with a gradual ascent of somewhere in the region of 90 feet.

Without further ado, the results of this pleasant potter past the peaks' precious pearls of paradise were, in descending order:

Position/Name	Time (mins')
D. Mark-the hare-Williams	90 DISQUALIFIED
Mark-all rounder-Garrod	97
Al-head torch-Metelko	106
Michelle-butchers dog-Harvie	107
Craig-last dash for freedom-Marsden	107.5
Roger-vroom vrmm-Mapleson	108
Oliver North Levi Todd	111
Dave-atilla the hut-Wylie	120
Jim-thug & thrutch-Simon	137
Colin-your not marrying my daughter-Maddison	140
Margaret-proops-Baldock	147
Frank-bring up the rear-Williams	148
Linda-the lunch-Crossley	150
Dave-the wave-Dillon	167
Alan-wide boy (& car) Wylie	176
Lorna-massage parlour!?*-Marsland	178

Plus two refusals: Linda-I only do it on all fours-Batey and Vinni-butter wouldn't melt-Goodman Although Mark-the hare-Williams put in a sterling physical performance, fell running is also about mental faculties, observational skills, visual and aural ability etc. Unfortunately in not locating the second marshal (dressed in a bright red cagoule) Mark clearly demonstrated an absence of these latter elements, and in so doing had to be, according to the rules (and rules are, after all, for the guidance of fools and not the blind obedience of the wise - or something like that!?*), reluctantly disqualified. I would like to request that if anyone has seen Mark since the race that they could contact their local Police, as unfortunately Mark has not arrive home yet.

THE HANDICAP

I had been informed that in previous years a rather quaint handicap system had been employed and operated by KMC's very own Mr Beetham. Whilst it is important that tradition not be forgotten it is also necessary to move with the times, these are after all New times in which we live, and therefore it is important that a New, prudent performance measure be introduced.

The New system adopted (as recommended by Mandelson and verified by Campbell) relied on a rigorous, objective and strictly scientific assessment of each individual's running ability.

The following list is in order of merit based on the New system. The list also contains essential information and dimensions about each of the said competitors.

Participant	Time	Age	Weight (dry)
Lorna-massage parlour!?*-Marsland	178	49	12st 2lb
Colin-you're not marrying my daughter-Maddison	140	42	13st 5lb
Mark-all rounder-Garrod	97	41	13st 4lb
Alan-wide boy (& car) Wylie	176	40	15st 5lb
Frank-bring up the rear-Williams	148	65	10st 1lb
Craig-last dash for freedom-Marsden	107.5	33	12st 5lb
Oliver North Levi Todd	111	37	12st 2lb
Al-head torch-Metelko	106	40	10st 9lb
Roger-vroom vrmm-Mapleson	108	34	11st 5lb
Dave-atilla the hut-Wylie	120	35	13st 2lb
Dave-the wave-Dillon	167	41	14st 7lb
Michelle-butchers dog-Harvey	107	30	47oz
Margaret-proops-Baldock	147	39	8st 5lb
Jim-thug & thrutch-Simon	137	36	17st 9lb
Linda-the lunch-Crossley	150	35	16st 8lb

Congratulations to the winners, and thanks to all those who took part - without you I could have had an enjoyable day's climbing!! Also a big thanks from myself and all the runners (except M.W) to the marshals (Alison Gilbody, Alan Jones and Ert Clark) without whom the KMC would have had fewer members.

Oct 11-12 1997: Ty Powdwr Meet Report: Colin Maddison ??

Colin was tragically marooned in Amsterdam whereas those of us who turned up experienced a monsoon in Snowdonia. Saturday was moist to say the least. Al and I squeezed in a couple of slate routes in between downpours whilst Cathy and Sal went on a recognisance mission to Cloggy in thick mist.

The evening was a sociable affair fuelled by good cooking (and yes Jeremy, Cath did cook), lots of wine and a jumbo box of Maltessers with the added bonus of a 40th birthday. However, the person in question only owned up to this about a month after the event. Some people are so bashful.

Sunday dawned wet and stayed that way so Al and I opted for the all weather classic of Devil's Kitchen. A fine expedition; especially for the second . Al spent the entire traverse calculating his trajectory into the waterfall in case of a slip. No such luck despite the abundant slime. Cath and Sal being eminently more sensible went for a stroll around Cwm Idwal to guarantee there daily dose of liquid Welsh sunshine.

The big question therefore is who's 40th. birthday was it?

a) Tony Gask,

b) Al Metelko,

c) Sal,

d) Cathy Devine, or

e) Duncan Lee

10 May 98: Black Rocks: Dave Wylie

Members and Guests:
Dave Dillon, Chris Williamson, Al Metelko, Rob Allen, Robert Clark, Tony Major, Rick Davies, John Hyde, Matthew Pennington, Mike Howlett, Dave Wylie (meet leader).

Black Rocks is evidently a "Real Man's" crag, as it seems the Ladies [Luncheon Club] were "having a picnic" at Birchens instead! They don't know what they were missing (or, then again, perhaps they DID know...).

The weather was a bit drizzly on the drive down to the crag, but once there it was warm, dry, and occasionally sunny until about four o'clock.

Four routes occupied most of the day: "Lone Tree Groove" (VS 4c), "Lone Tree Gully" (Hard V-Diff), "Birch Tree Wall" (VS 5a) and "Birch Tree Variant" (VS 4c). The guidebook seemed to be a bit confused about the last two routes, with the descriptions not really matching up with the rock at all. The grades given in the guide also seemed a bit different from the reality!

"Lone Tree Groove" proved to be the most tantalising route, with an "interesting" move to gain the groove itself. Everybody did it differently. Al took his time, but got there in the end. Dave W had to have two goes at seconding it. Rob Allen make it look easy. Most unlucky was Chris, who was just at the making THE move, balanced with his left foot on the crucial polished smear, when the heavens opened and literally washed him off the route. The gear had to be retrieved by abseil. There were quite a few drowned rat impersonations among the climbers who were actually on routes when the rain came. Did Mr Dillon get any blackmail 'photos with that new camera of his?

Overall, a very worthwhile meet. (Though it's a shame that nobody had a go at "Gaia" ;-)

10 May 98: "TyTankic": Dave Wylie

The gripping story of the demise of the largest vessel in the history of climbing club huts...

Starring: Phil Ramsbottom, Chris Thickett, Steve Taylor, Alan Wylie

Supporting Cast: Iain McCallum, Pam McCallum, Lester Payne, A. Lintel

Special Guest Star: Elizabeth Taylor

Introducing: William Taylor

With an Appearance by: Emma Richards

Directed By: Dave Wylie

Day 1, Scene 1: In the Loft
Phil and Alan are inside the old metal tank (which has already been emptied, apart from an inch or so of rust coloured water sloshing around in the bottom) attempting to cut their way out with angle grinders. Chris is on the outside, with a sheet of wood, trying to deflect the sparks away from anything too flammable. Repeated cries of "We need more cutting disks" are heard faintly above the scream of tortured metal. Phil's angle grinder finally burns out completely and the remains of the tank, which are still to large to get through the trapdoor, are cast aside and left to rust in pieces.

Day 1, Scene 2: Bangor
Dave and Steve brave the horrors of B&Q and Wickes in an attempt to purchase a lintel, angle grinder disks, pipe connectors and insulation. "Why is it always me that ends up paying for this stuff", complains Steve as he mislays yet another receipt.

Interval: Saturday Lunch
A sumptuous spread of soup, rolls and cheese courtesy of the McCallum Catering Company.

Day 1, Scene 3: The Ladies Loo
Dave attacks the washroom wall with hammer and chisel. The air fills with dust, and the floor fills with rubble.

Day 1, Scene 4: Back in the Loft
Three new large plastic water tanks are manhandled into place. Installation commences, with Steve setting a new loft-speed-record for plumbing. It is now like a sauna up there, with the sunshine beating on the roof and wisps of steam rising from the last few puddles of water in the old tank. People take turns at being Punkawalla, fanning cool air up from the trapdoor.

Day 1, Scene 5: The Upper LHS Dormitory
Iain removes the old threadbare carpet, and lays thick cork tiles on the floor.

Day 1, Scene 6: In the Kitchen
Lester takes the old, condemned, disconnected gas fire off the wall.

Day 1, Scene 7: The Ladies Loo
Dave continues banging away, and achieves breakthrough. The hole grows rapidly, and soon the new lintel is lifted into place.

Day 1, Scene 8: The Loft Again
The final pipe connections are made, and the water is turned back on. The tanks begin to fill. There are no leaks. Sighs of relief are heard. Once the tanks are full, various taps round the hut are tried - but some of them don't work. Dark mutterings and swearing are heard. A sticking stop-tap and an airlock are found and cured. Water flows. Success!

Interval: Supper
The guest stars arrive: Elizabeth Taylor, William and Emma come to rescue Steve. The McCallum Caterers excel themselves with a veritable feast of lasagne (with a special one for the veggies), followed by apple pie. Everyone is replete. The Taylor family depart.

Day 2, Scene 1: The Loft
Trace heating and insulation are fitted to pipes and tanks, to ensure that they will not be destroyed by icebergs.

Day 2, Scene 2: In the Woods
Iain and Pam attend to the various plantations of trees round the hut.

Day 2, Scene 3: The Ladies Loo
The new lintel is cemented into place, and the space below it is blanked off with a sheet of wood to save any blushes. The rubble is cleared up.

Day 2, Scene 4: Near Queensferry
Stationary traffic stretches as far as the eye can see. The cast sit in their cars/van sweltering in the sunshine, wishing that they'd been out on the hill all weekend rather than stuck inside.

--==## The End ##==--

This has been a KMC Production (c) 1998 HMG Projects

Sunday 5th April 1998: Walk: Pendle Hill (not The Four Inns!): Dave Shotton

Walkers:- Linda Batey, Tony Gask, Sheena Hendrie, Lorna Marsland, Iain McCallum, Neville McMillan, Lester Payne, Derek Seddon, Dave Shotton, Chris Thickett, Dave Wylie

Support and sustenance:- Pat and Richard Holt

The plan for this meet was rearranged owing to a seeming shortage of participants for the Four Inns walk and also in view of generally unpromising weather in the preceding weeks. The resulting meet was a walk over Pendle Hill in the Clitheroe/Nelson area of Lancashire, with the previous weekend's Hot Pot in New Mills providing an ideal opportunity for the distribution of a hastily-produced forthcoming meet change of plan (Thanks go to Frank Williams for advice and a copy of the "Paths Around Pendle" tourist map which was very useful.)

We left Barley car park in dry weather (despite a poor forecast) at about 10 a.m., passing the Ogden Reservoirs and following Ogden Clough, where we were caught up by Dave Wylie (who had had difficulties negotiating Burnley), and stopped for elevenses next to the stream. (Note for future meet leaders - it appears to be better to keep Ogden Clough on the right in its upper section (heading SW to NE below Barley Moor), as it's hard going if you keep it on the left as we did, even though my map showed paths on both sides!) We eventually struck uphill and followed a stone slab path over Barley Moor to the summit at the Big End (a.k.a. the Beacon, used as both a Bronze Age burial mound and a signal-fire site), getting some good views at the top.

Going down past Hookcliffe Plantation, we crossed over a patchwork of fields to Twiston Lane (the Downham-Lower Gate road), getting good views of the north side of Pendle Hill. We followed the lane towards Witches Quarry, and were met at the nearby lime kiln by Pat and Richard Holt who provided very welcome refreshment in the form of tea and scones (with cream and strawberry jam) from the back of their camper van. We had a look at the quarry which has recently been re-opened for 'low key climbing' after a 15 year ban. It didn't look all that inviting but it is supposedly of good quality limestone with over 70 routes on it - perhaps another day? The party then followed the road through Twiston to the Twiston Crossroads (I've since found out that this was formerly the site of the local gibbet, last used for a public hanging in the 1840's, for those with a taste for the macabre). There was a heavy downpour on this section, the only rain we encountered on the walk. From the crossroads we followed the Black Moss Road, and then took a footpath which led us through the gap between the Black Moss Reservoirs and back to Barley for about 4 p.m. where most of the group stopped at the cafe before heading for home.

Thank you to everyone who came on the walk, and especially to Pat and Richard Holt for the tea and scones.

May 23-25: Fair Head: Duncan Lee

Members present: Tony Major, Al Metelko, Dave Bone, Roger Mapleson, Bridget Mapleson, Sabina Cosulich, Kevin Anderson, Dave Dillon, Dave Shotton, Goose and Duncan Lee.

Guests present: Mark Harrington, Joan Stewart, Peter Bannister and Joan Flanagan.

Despite the complexities of having to book a ferry, the K.M.C. arrived in Northern Ireland in large numbers for the referendum weekend. The majority of the group arrived at the idyllicly situated but basic Benvan hut in fading light and the "wingeathon" commenced. Oh the joys of leading a meet. Eventually a real fire was crackling in the grate, things seemed more homely and the moaning subsided.

Saturday dawned cold, wet and windy so the entire team headed into Ballycastle for breakfast. Many found the Ulster fry particularly addictive. The County Antrim tourist trek was then embarked upon with one car visiting Carrick- a - rede rope bridge and everyone checked out Giant's Causeway. By mid-afternoon a few people ventured to the crag during a brief break in the weather. Some just looked whereas R 'n' B slithered and battled up "The Fence"(V.S. 4c**) and Sabina and I jammed our way up "Railroad"(E1 5b**). COLD! PUB!

Al and Wavey having played at "who can be the maddest with an axe " kept the home fires burning in the evening.

Sunday dawned windy, wet and cold with a huge cloud hanging over the crag so it was into town for breakfast once more. Ulster fry; just say no. With the cliff still shrouded in thick mist desperate measures were called for. Climbing in the rain was my favoured option but giving up and going home appealed more to Dave B., Mark and Tony. As is customary on such occasions once they departed the weather improved for a few hours so it was game on.

Kevin and Al raved about the quality of "Girona "(V.S.4c,4c***) for the entire length of the route whilst Goose and Pete bemoaned the lichen on "Taoiseach"(V.S.4c,4c*).

At one point Goose resorted to using a large hex to scrap moss off a crucial smear. Oh how we laughed. Sabina and I swung leads on the enjoyable "Chieftain" (V.S.4b,4b**) followed by R 'n' B. A brief burst of watery sunshine then had me rushing off to The Prow only to get half way up "The Embankment"(E2 5c***) before the rain returned. In the true spirit of the club everyone donned their waterproofs, broke out their sandwiches and sat down to watch the entertainment. Thankfully the rock stayed relatively dry so they were disappointed. Also true to the clubs spirit was the way all the "gentlemen"(?) present left Sabina to follow the pitch as they headed for the shelter of the cars.

A retreat to town was then made to sample a few pints of the black stuff and soak up the atmosphere of the "Northern Lights Music Fest." Folk musicians in virtually every pub and bands on the stage in the town square. The resulting dancing in the streets was fairly predictable.

Monday's weather was also abysmal so as Kevin and Joan headed off towards Donegal the rest of us headed home . An enjoyable meet despite the weather. Many thanks to everyone who turned up. A return match next year?

6/7 JUNE '98: TY POWDWR: Robert Clark

Members present; R Clark, J 'Goose' Whitham, A Metleko A 'Liverpool' Jones.

The superb weather forecast obviously sent everyone rushing off to the seaside. Surprisingly it rained in Snowdonia. This did not deter the select KMC team from their endeavours; The usual wet weather shopping trip to Outside, and a brew in Eric's cafe at Tremadoc - there were some brave people climbing in the rain on 'One Step in the Clouds'. Then a retreat to The Beacon for a good pump. Meanwhile Al Metelko was walking across The Carnedds, the first stage of his weekend objective - all the 3000' peaks in Snowdonia. Alan Jones arrived Saturday evening and we all ended up in The Royal Vic, where Robert and the Goose demonstrated their pool room prowess to an admiring audience of residents and locals.

On Sunday, Al and Alan went for (separate) walks while Robert and the Goose went climbing at Tremadoc. It was raining when we got there (some people were still climbing in the rain on 'One Step .....') so the objectives were fairly modest; The Brothers (vs) and Meshach (hvs) were climbed, the weather improving to warm sunshine. The Brothers is actually quite hard for the grade, and Goose will confirm that the crack pitch at the start is certainly 'interesting'. As we had another brew before leaving, it had started to rain again, and yes, there were still people climbing in the rain on 'One Step ...

Al finished his short walk, and got back to the hut at around 11pm - he had a long lie that morning.

Thanks to all(?) who came.

4, 5 July: Lakes Camping, Nether Wasdale: Andrew Croughton

Members present:- Jim & Sandy Gregson, Frank & Margaret Williams, Chris Thickett, Tony Gask, Brian Street, Dave Wylie, Dave Dillon.

Guests :- Michelle Toft , John, Anne & Lewis.

The weather for the weekend just managed to stay dry enough to allow the sun to filter it's way through the mist on the tops, to give nice rosy red faces to the majority of campers on the site who had forgotten it was the middle of summer, an easy mistake to make considering recent weather conditions.

Saturday

Sunday

Thanks to everybody for turning up to support the meet, especially those who could only stay for a short while before having to head back, and to those who attended from last year after I failed to get my meet report into last years newsletter, I hope this service is better for you.

July 1998 Newsletter Index.

Copyright © 1998 Karabiner Mountaineering Club