Karabiner Mountaineering Club

Something from the climbing newsgroup - R Kruze

The Gibberwocky

'Twas chilly and the Almscliff droves
Did climb and boulder in the breeze,
All polished were the gritstone moves
But the friction was a tease.

Beware the Crack of Doom my son,
Jamming up that fearsome cleft.
Beware the great traverse and shun
The finish on the left.

He took his rack of Friends in hand,
Long time the mighty route he worked
Til he reached the scoof beneath the roof
Where the famous traverse lurked.

And as he gibbered in his stance,
A passer-by said with a sneer
'The bastard hasn't got a chance,
Look at how he quakes with fear.'

One-two one-two and through and through,
The traverse moves went thick and fast.
With a hidden hold the route unfurled,
And he reached the top at last.

'And hast thou climbed climbed the four-star route?'
Alas no, only in my dreams.
For in my mettle I lack the bottle,
And I'll never climb HVS it seems.

Henry.

henry_moose@my-dejanews.com

The Stuff of Legends

(Translated from the book of Hut)

It was a dark and stormy night, the rain had lashed the windows and rattled the slates (not the new ones of course, just the old loose ones around the back and down the other end.) The morning was little better but a route was choosen. Lockwoods Chimney -a route of evil repute, the name of which is enough to strike terror into the hearts of men..........well Dave anyway!

On days such as these legends are born and today was no exception. In years to come K.M.C. members will talk in hushed voices of Brave Sir Dave (of Whittingham) who when danger reared its ugly head, turned and fled. Of brave Sir Duncan (of Lee) and Sir Dave (of Garland) who huddled together in the darkest most part of the chasm (very hushed voices would be best here.) Of brave Lord Dave (of Shotton) who........er......was there as well. And finally of brave Sir Colin who was subsequently most foully and cruelly murdered by the others. C.M.

Editors note: some contemporary historians disagree with the above account suggesting that Brave Sir Dave did not flee but simply made a tactical withdrawal. There is little evidence to support this theory.

June 1999 Newsletter Index.

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