|
August 2000 Stories and Articles
Picture Quiz
Name the mystery person in the picture?
The answer can be found near the bottom of this page...
UNCLE B*STARD'S PROBLEM PAGE
All your personal,
mountaineering and climbing problems answered by the KMC Newsletter's
very own caring and sensitive correspondent. All names, of
potentially fictitious individuals - who may not even be members of
the club, have been changed to protect the guilty.
Dear Uncle B,
My girlfriend has
recently moved in with me, only she has this real problem with our
address. Apparently it’s one of the things she can’t
remember along with anything she’s got planed for the next few
months, where she’ put her glasses and the way home. Frankly I
think she’s completely barking.
I’m absolutely
desperate for help.
Troubled of Warrington.
Dear Troubled of
Warrington,
Woof, woof, woof! You’re
absolutely right.
Tough!
Uncle B.
Dear Uncle B*stard,
Whilst on a recent KMC
meet at Cader Idris a sheep tried getting into my tent. Should I
change my aftershave or buy a pair of wellies?
Yours Perplexed.
Dear Perplexed,
I’m shocked by your
reference to wellies. It s against club rules for individual members
to inflict pain on dumb animals, we have Gritstone Meets for that -
ask Craig.
Yours UB.
Dear Uncle B,
A few months ago I
injured my shoulder. This problem now appears to be worsening to
include symptoms similar to wrist strain.
Yours in hope, Hans.
Dear Hans,
Is this in anyway
connected with the fact your girlfriend has started climbing with
someone else?
Uncle B*
Auntie B’s Top Tips:
| * |
Leading a high
camping meet? Worried about that heavy rucksack? Concerned about a
chilly night under canvass maybe? Why not visit our website at
www.weather.com?
You’ll find hundreds of unfavourable forecasts to choose from.
Aye, one’ll be right for the’ |
| * |
Bigfoot recently
spotted on Gower swearing with vigorous Scottish accent. So the Top
Tip here is: bring your own climbing
gear with you and don’t try using someone else’s rock boots
four sizes too big! |
Auntie B’s Hot News Flash!
| * |
Colin Mudstone
spreads his legs to become High Magazine Super Model.
|
| * |
And from
the Manchester Evening News - Reporting on a certain well known
provider of climbing walls from Stalybridge.. ‘One senior
member of staff, Grubby Thornhump, said: “Personally, I would
always choose the natural climbing.”’
Uncle B to launch Shock
Horror Probe - has anyone seen this character on a recent meet, or
rock for that matter? |
Finally
Important Notice from Uncle B
Well, that’s all for
this time. To be blunt you’re a pretty boring bunch this last
few months. The quality of letters has been quite naff! So either get
reporting some serious scandal or I’m not going to let the truth
get in the way of a good article.
ANSWERS
Picture Quiz
Yes its none other then
our very own club secretary, but you will have to ask her about the
bathroom. Photo’s were provided by an ex-friend/climbing
partner.
Gower Quiz (See the Gower Meet Report for the questions)
1. b; we are all kids after all!
2. c “Chris has got
more toys than Paul has” ; quote Julie Harding,(or more toys
than he is allowed to have!)
3. b
4. a
5. b
6. b
7 b
8 a; Chris and Al
weren’t there!
August Newsletter Index.
Copyright © 2000 Karabiner Mountaineering Club
|
