Members: Anthony Marsh, Iain Mccallum, Lester Payne, Derek Seddon, Bowden Black and Alan Barber (meet leader)

Bowden started ahead of the official party, sometime after 6am in his unofficial green wellies (not endorsed by the Country Landowners Association).

Old Glossop was covered in snow by the time the rest of us set off at 7:20am and the group photo resembles a coven of fairies in Father Christmas’s Grotto! However, the fairy magic four letter words were very effective on Bleaklow in the ensuing white-out, causing the leader to be shocked! Soon after leaving Shelf Brook, it whited out and only the leader's cunning navigation (sending out Anthony in ever increasing circles) saved the party from missing out Shelf stones.

Meanwhile the intrepid Granny Black in pensioner's wellies left confusing tracks ranging over the Bleaklow plateau.

Soon we tripped over the engines of the Superfortress and struggled on past Hern Stones only to overshoot the Wain Stones, just managing to stop Derek and Anthony before they got to Lawrencefield and Crowden. (Derek insisted that you could still get a pint at the George and Dragon and that he wanted to audition for the "New Last of the Summer Wine" on Holme Moss at 11:30am)

From there onwards at least our navigation improved (because it cleared up) and what lovely views we had between the four foot deep, soggy drifts of snow and peat. Still Black's footprints ranged everywhere, sometimes he walked backwards just to confuse us but we never saw him, even with Anthony ranging on the horizon.

Soon we passed Bleaklow Stones on our left and got away from the groughs at last, taking the path in the upper Westend basin to Grinah Stones, where we stopped for a rest. Here we had a thunder and hailstorm but with magnificent cloudscapes, when of course Derek had his camera in action. As we all know Derek always has the latest gear. His latest nature camera has a gas detector incorporated which bleeps when a grouse farts under the snow and so the peace of early morning Bleaklow was continually broken by the beeping fiendish Japanese camera. But despite the technology Derek could not find grouse or the farting white hare. The camera was useless it couldn't even find which of Heinz 57 varieties that the guilty Mccallum had had for his breakfast!

After our rest we carried on over Barrow Stones and Round Hill before crossing the boggy ridge above Round Cabins, where Lester started to roll in agony on account of a twisted knee, but before he could take his Philosan, Anthony followed by Derek and Ian (who it turns out have both had HRT) streaked down the clough, crossing the Upper Derwent and galloped up to Horse Stones leaving me to look after the disabled Lester. Of course this is just what you’d expect of the KMC - the number of times I've pulled them out of the mire!

The two of us were now left with no alternative but to rush down the Derwent to intercept the support party who were expecting us at 1pm (it now being 12:20pm). Also to make sure that there would be no food left for the delinquents who I now disqualified! Beetham had volunteered to support us at Fairholmes originally but cried off because somebody in blue was in trouble in the inner city and he was a member of the charity offering support!!!

After rushing down the valley, we came upon the support team of Alan Liverpool , Maggie and Frank. They had just finished packing all their gear back into the cars and Alan was looking puzzled trying to put his gas stove together. Anyway they unpacked again and got down to supporting us. The two diddies fed us marvellously on Potato Ash and cake. These two mimi victims of the Burnley textile industry never cease to marvel at the amount that normal sized people, from the healthy climate of Oldham can put away. Despite my protests they kept some food back for the delinquents who had left the injured Lester. A bit of bread for Bowden might have been in order but even though Lester was foaming at the mouth they wouldn't give him a 4th helping!

Eventually just as they had packed their cars again an apparition in unofficial green wellies and a pixiehood shuffled into Fairholmes, causing looks of distaste from the Saturday mashers in their best clothes and skin tight mountain bike suits. With great effort Bowden raised his nose into the air and sniffed, then ignoring the tempting smell of the official toilets, he picked up his feet and made a bee line for the diddy Maggie who by now had retrieved her massive container of soup from the car again!

Later when asked about his route, he said that he had missed his way, but we all know that he once joined the Rucsack Club for a while before he was blackballed (he said for being caught out by their secretary actually letting Millie lead a climb!). The real reason was that he stole a map of Cudahay's secret routes on Bleaklow, the crafty so-and-so. Anything to get one up on his fellow club members. Bowden said he was going to finish the walk but changed his mind when the support party said they had no intention of bringing him sausage and bacon sandwiches for 5am breakfast at Kinder Gates.

After another 2 hours when Bowden had persuaded the diddys and Alan to take us back to Glossop and the cars were packed once more, the three disqualified walkers strolled into Fairholmes!! Immediately Seddon and Mccallum set to and ate all the food while Anthony went for a pee. Mccallum ungratefully remarked that on the last time he had stayed at Ashopton Youth Hostel, the food had been much better! (It was flooded and closed in 1946!) Ian and Derek said that they would retire under protest (after they found out that there was no lunch the following day at Mill Hill).

When Anthony arrived from his toilet trip the other two had put the rest of the food in their doggy bags and there was none left for him. As Anthony then decided to carry on, Mccallum offered him 2 Victory V's and half a Mars Bar from the bottom of his rucsack but as Anthony only had £2.50 on him Iain refused him credit!

Once again we packed up the stoves and empty food containers and crammed ourselves into the supporters’ cars. It would have been more comfortable if we had gone earlier without Bowden, Iain and Derek, after all they had been disqualified.

When we arrived in Oldham I had a shock, Lester offered me petrol money but it was just a bribe to get reinstated without a sick note! I just got home for Match of the Day, so Janis had to do without being beaten up again!

It's five days later now, I've just phoned Anthony to complete the meet report but no one has seen him since last Friday. He was last seen in the darkness asking mountain bikers the way to Lockerbrook Farm. Did he really want to carry on or was it just that the other three disqualified members pinched the last seats in Liverpool's car? Still that's just what you'd expect in a "club of frigging pals" - what's been good for the first 50 years will not be changed by even the more gentle "market force" principles which now govern society, during the next 50 years.

It has never been the same since Stubby got soft on the 6 meets rule and the club became infested with posers and camp followers! (careful, it's one of those posers who's typing up this scrawl at present — Ed).

Please note the date of this one. It's Saturday!

Start from Old Glossop at 7am. Park around the church and at the side of Manor park to leave from GR 042 947.

A rough guide is: Moorshelf Stones - Lower and Higher Shelf Stones - Hearn Stones - Wain Stones - onto Bleaklow to Bleaklow Stones - Grinnah Stones - Barrow Stones to Round Cabins. Across the valley to Horse Stones - Rocking Stones - Crow Stones - Bull Stones - across Cut Gate to Marjorie Stones - south to High Stones - over Nether Hay to the Derwent Reservoir and car park and cafe. Onward to Lockerbrook Farm - Rolee Farm - Rolee Bridge - Madwoman Stones - Seal Stones - over to Kinder Downfall - Mill Hill - Brown Hill back to Old Glossop. 30+ miles.

Alan would like volunteers to support the effort. Please contact him if interested.