Karabiner MC: Meet Viewer

Alps 2013 - He’ll be wearing wet pyjamas when he comes!

Illustrated by Jim (and me)

Members: Colin Maddison, Bob Kelly, Andy Stratford, Jo Stratford, Gareth Williams, Lucie Crouch, Jim Symon, Philippa Maye, Duncan Lee, Vicky Alderton, Steve Graham, James Williams, Laura Collier, Kevin Anderson, Alice Larkin, Al Metelko, Trish Cranston, Christine Beeston, Emily Pitts, Kathryn Bagshaw, Carolyn Mills, Dave Shotton, Kate Harvey, Oi Ding Koy (24)

Guests: Kieran Lee, Jasmine Pitts, Alan Little, Emma Timms, Jamie Ledingham, Thomas Ulber, José Antonio, John Doldon, Debbie Teasdale, Merion Tanner (10)

Special Guest Appearances (one night only): Alice’s mum, dad and brother (3)

In the land of ice and snow
Of summits high and crags below
The KMC climb mighty peaks
Sometimes even the one it seeks!

(With apologies to poets everywhere)

Prologue

This year the President said, “ We must travel unto the Parc National des Ecrins”; and lo, a mighty host rose up and travelled southward to a land of great peaks, high passes and gnarly crags; and the number of the multitude was one score and seventeen; and the President looked upon it and the only mystery he could see was how some of them managed to find their way there at all!

Expedition Log

There is a partial moon in a vast, clear sky .... and as Bob lowers her off the climb he muses, “I think I’ll have to buy Emily some longer shorts.”

But it all began two days earlier.

Thursday 18^th July

Picked up by Bob Kelly we depart Salford about 3.15pm. It’s a very warm journey as the heat wave continues but we arrive in time for the tunnel crossing and depart Calais 11.35pm. The journey proceeds under Bob’s command with the order and precision of a military convoy. Stops are limited and only to re-fuel on a strict regime when the fuel gauge drops to exactly three bars remaining. Toilet breaks are only permitted when they coincide with re-fuelling.

Friday 19^th July

We drive through the night and make good time, but South of Grenoble we find the road to Briançon shut due to ‘Le Tour’. Disgruntled we turn south via Gap. Men in lycra shouldn’t be allowed on public roads. The detour is long and tedious. I cross my legs and glance hopefully at the fuel gauge.

Arriving at Ailefroide about 11.10am; there’s light rain as we put up the tent; then getting heavier. First to arrive we spend the afternoon relaxing and shopping when the rain eases. Duncan, Vicky and Kieran arrive around 6.45pm; they camp next door. Emily and Jasmine arrive 4.00pm (ish) via train and taxi. It’s very wet in the evening.

Saturday 20^th July

The clouds clear to give a cool night with wall to wall stars. The morning brings sun and blue skies.

Kieran’ is very excited at camping. “Why didn’t we have a girl”, sighs Vicky as she watches a small girl quietly reading a book.

Bob, Emily, Jasmine, Duncan, Vicky, Kieran and I go for late morning climbing at Les Petites Dalles and thus Emily comes to fail the dress code at Sergeant Bob’s first inspection of the trip.

Several single pitch routes are climbed from 4a to 5c on the granite slabs. Bob later reports a full body pump!

Gareth and Lucie arrive about 10.45am and set up camp next to the management. Later Philippa, Jim, Andy, Jo, Steve, James, Laura and Ding (from Germany) arrive and camp in a lower field the other side of the toilet block. Day two and we are 17 strong.

Sunday 21^st July

It’s another fine, sunny day with blue skies. The Ecrins massif offers a wide range of mountaineering challenges and Ailefroide itself is situated in a beautiful valley with a vast array of rock routes from single pitch to over a thousand foot that folk are eager to tackle.

Andy is keen to check out some low level snow/ice routes at the head of the valley just 20 minutes walk from the road. Duncan and I are very doubtful and head off for a multi-pitch valley rock route on the Poire D’Ailefroide - Une Belle Lisse Poire (380m. 9 pitches. 6a+ max).

The approach is 40 minute from the campsite. Crossing a stream on the way Duncan glances down, “Oh look! There goes Andy’s route.”

Gareth and Lucie throw themselves at Les Petites Dalles and do 15 routes between them up to 5c/6a.

Bob walks up the Tête de la Draye (2077m) and on to the foot of Cime du Paillon, turning back only when too tricky to go on alone. It’s clear the experience and rarefied air has had a profound effect:

Bob, “It was fantastic. There were Choughs and ..... oh, look! Up there. It’s a Golden Eagle. Oh no. It’s a glider.”

The others have been cragging on Secteur sous la Fissure five minutes from the camp. Andy, Jim and Philippa set off an hour before the rest and arrive last trying to find the nearest crag to the campsite! Thus navigation gets off to a good start for the trip.

For those that can find the crags it takes a while to get used to the faith and friction of Ailefroide’s holdless granite slabs; Jim is gibbering on a 3c! He shakes, sweats and swears in equal measure. “How can a 3c be so hard? I can’t fall off this!” As fear subsides depression sets in until he realises it was a 6a and it’s his route finding that’s shaky.

Later Andy, Steve and James head off to the Glacier Blanc Hut for a shot at the Pointe des Cinéastes (3203m) the next day.

During the day Dave Shotton and Kate Harvey arrive via plane to Geneva and hire car. Carolyn and Jamie arrive in their camper van.

Kate goes off for a late afternoon walk up the Tête de la Draye (2077m). Bob gives directions but is concerned about her navigation. I reassure him, “It’s okay. She’s a member; we’re insured.”

Alan Little and Thomas Ulber have arrived from Munich. Day three and we are 23 strong.

Monday 22^nd July

Another morning of bright blue skies with just wisps of high sirus drifting over. I’m back at the Poire with Vicky for Ecrins Total (200m. 7 pitches. 5c+ max). It’s the start of day by day alternating climbing with Duncan and Vicky that goes on relentlessly through the trip with little respect for health and age. An excellent route but the descent in four abseils is behind the slowest pair in the world.

We return to camp about 3.00pm to find Carolyn and Jamie slack-lining having done a route or two on Les Étoiles. Gareth and Lucie do another 19 pitches at Draye Droite. Jim, Philippa, Emily, Jasmine, Duncan, Kieran and Ding go cragging at Les Pitite Dalles.

There is some thunder and grey cloud, plus a bit of rain in the afternoon. Alan and Thomas retreat from four pitches up L’Explosion des Calcanéums (200m. 6 pitches. 6a max) but the storm stays up around the mountains.

Bob returns at 5.45pm from La Blanche (2953m), “Did you get that electrical storm? I had to shelter under a boulder with a French lady. It put a spark up my arse I can tell you! I’m going for a bit lower voltage next time.” Is this the entente cordiale?

Dave Shotton, Laura and Jo Stratford walk up to the Bosse de Clapouse (2179m) above the campsite. Kate makes a second attempt on the Tête de la Draye as a late afternoon walk pushing out the route beyond the previous day’s high point.

Meanwhile, somewhere high above the valley:

Andy, “I say Graham old boy.”

Steve, “What ho Stratford.”

Andy, “Isn’t this a jolly fine view of the Pointe des Cinéastes way over yonder.”

Steve, “What! The mountain we’re supposed to be on?”

Andy, “Yes, bit of a cock up. You do realise this is 50% your fault?”

Steve, “But you recce’d the route for two hours last night!”

Andy, “Hmm yes, but only the descent old boy.”

James, “F***ing hell!”

Andy, Steve and James return from attempting the Pointe des Cinéastes having climbed the wrong mountain!! A pact made in blood soon breaks down. They’ve inadvertently climbed Pointe Cézanne (3365m); a good route at mostly PD but 44°out from the hut. But at least they knew the way off.

Earlier in the day Gareth familiarises himself with the valley, “I wonder where the bouldering is. There are P’s marked on this map. Perhaps that means something.”

Lucie, “Yes, parking!”

Kevin, Alice, Trish and Al arrive early evening to be greeted by rain. Day four and 27 strong.

Then to round off a pretty good day ....... the child explodes!

Tuesday 23^rd July

Blue skies again after yesterday evening’s rain. Kieran’s pants have been disposed of as hazardous waste and things are looking up. Kathryn and Emma arrived in the night; now 29 on the meet.

Gareth and Lucie depart for a long but satisfying day on Lionel Terray’s classic Fissure D’Ailefroide (280m. 9 pitches. 5b max), a soaring crack cum chimney line that dominates the campsite.

Around 9.00am Duncan and I follow for the neighbouring Snoopy Directe (280m, 10 pitches. 6b max) but a French couple are faffing for France on the first pitch. Madame Le Faff is clearly in charge, barking orders from part way up the first pitch including how to belay! Monsieur Le Faff is flustered; we undo the figure of nine in the middle of his rope, he smiles wanly.

They’re obviously going to take all day on the route (and do). So with Vicky we do a couple of single pitch routes at Draye Droite, where we meet Kevin, Alice, Kathryn, Steve, James, Carolyn, Jamie, Emma, Emily and Jasmine perfecting their smearing as they teeter upwards.

We go back to do Snoopy Directe in the afternoon. It is an excellent route done very quickly in good style. Starting at 3.10pm we complete nine pitches from 5c to 6b in 2 hours 35 mins bottom to top and pass the French couple shortly after starting the descent; they’ve been on the go about nine hours! As he climbs over them on the tricky section Duncan hands over a prussik picked up at the bottom of the route with a look that speaks a thousand words .... or more precisely says, “Here, you dropped this you incompetent French faffers now get out of my bl*****g way.”

But no doubt they have enjoyed their adventure, or at least Monsieur Le Faff has if he knows what’s good for him.

Bob completes an eight hour route march to Lac de l’Eychaula and back, spotting Al and Trish out for a walk along the way. Christine takes a solo walk up Tête de la Draye. Separately, Kate completes her red point of the Draye, topping out at her third attempt.

In the morning, Jo and Andy set off on a four day trek. They’re dropped off at the start by Philippa and Jim. Andy offers to navigate as Philippa drives and soon they are lost in down town Briançon.

Andy, “I say Philippa old girl.”

Philippa, “What ho Stratford.”

Andy, “Remember that very obvious turning a while back?”

Philippa, “What the one you told us not to take?”

Andy, “Yes, bit of a cock up. You do realise this is 50% your fault?”

Jim, “F*****g hell!

Asked if she will be all right following Andy on the trek Jo points out with an air of resignation that she did follow him up the aisle; though it’s still uncertain why they went via the crypt.

After the drop off Jim and Philippa do four routes and a via ferrata at La Bessée. Later on in the day Carolyn and Jamie set off for a two day trip round the glaciers via the Glacier Blanc Hut, Glacier Jean Gauthier, Glacier de Séguret Foran and the Lac de l’Eychaula with a bivvi on the way.

Alan and Thomas spend the day trying to make sense of Orages d’Etoiles (300m. 11 pitches. 5c+ max) and feel they have done it “sort of” with “some variations”. But they’ve simply entered into the emerging spirit of the trip having done a route on an entirely different part of the crag!

It clouds over in the evening with a few spots of rain that gets heavier later; but it’s clear overnight.

Wednesday 24^th July

Poor forecast and we awake to gathering clouds that build but then largely disperse. We wait on the weather then mid morning Vicky, who’s been before, leads me to the Face Sud de la Draye for Ein, Zwei, Draye (250m. 6 pitches. 5c max). It’s a good route but the topo is a bit vague in places.

Sergeant Bob leads an expedition up the valley to the Refuge du Glacier Blanc (2524m) taking Emily, Jasmine, Emma, Ding and Dave along. Departure time is 09:00 hours sharp. The ladies arrive promptly at 9.30am(ish).

Bob, “There is only one rule in the Legion. Keep marching or die.”

Emma, “He’s lovely. I wish he was my uncle.”

Later it’s reported as a very pleasant, leisurely day out by the ladies. But although no one has died Bob is a little flustered; things clearly aren’t what they used to be in the Legion; never mind a lot less marching there’s a lot more bikinis and naked flesh than either Bob or Beau Geste are used to.

Laura and Kate walk to Vallouise and Trish up the valley to Pré de Madame Carle. Alan and Thomas go sport climbing near Briançon and most of the others go cragging locally. Jamie and Carolyn return having terminated their tour at the Col du Monêtier due to doubtful weather.

Thursday 25^th July

Hmm! I’m peering into the depths of a bergschund wondering how deep it is and recalling Duncan’s assurance there would be no snow. There’s a bolt by my ankle!

Up at 6.00am to blue skies we’ve driven round via Vallouise to Entre Les Aygues for Diable Par Le Queue (TD- UIAA 5+) on the Dents de Coste Counier (3025m).

Another vehicle arrives at the car park shortly after us and we watch as the driver hauls his ass out of the van – literally – and then ties the donkey to a building.

It’s a beautiful valley with great views of Les Bans on the walk. It’s hot but we reach the Bans Hut in under guidebook time. There’s a breeze high up but it’s a sweaty day.

Eight pitches up the lower wall and upper pillar lead to a junction with the normal traverse of the South Ridge (AD+) then over the first summit to the brèche with all the tedious ups, downs, twists and loose rock of an easy alpine ridge. The traverse continues over the second summit in the same vein but enough’s enough from a valley start and we abseil from the brèche.

But where’s Mr Grumpy in all of this you ask. Well there he is, bless him, at the bottom of the second abseil in the narrowest part of the cleft, covered in as many coils as 120m of Mammut’s finest nylon can muster. Oh dear; best not to interfere!

It’s an interesting walk back to the Bans Hut; four raging torrents to be crossed, each more ferocious than the last, until the last plunging into a black abyss beneath the rotting remains of a snowfield. The leap just too wide for comfort each has the same thought, “Don’t think, just jump.” A sweaty walk back to car completes a round trip in just under 12 hours.

Jim, Al, Philippa and Trish do some single pitch routes at Draye Droite and teach Philippa to abseil (upside down). Then later in the afternoon they do a lightening ascent of Adios Trepidentes!! (180m. 6 pitches. 5c max.) on Paroi au Dessus de la Draye in 2 ½ hours. Vicky and Lucie climb four routes up to 5a on Les Balcons D’Ailefroide whilst Uncle Gareth goes dam building with Kieran.

Steve and James are reported to spend 2 ½ hours faffing before setting off for the Pelvoux Hut. Later Steve is seen running back through the village for the map James has left on the table!

Meanwhile Bob, returning from a walk up the beautiful valley from Vallouise to Entre Les Aygues, is flustered again. There has been further abuse of the dress code. He reports that Emma has cycled up the valley, “Wearing two pieces of string”, that make Emily’s shorts look like a nun’s draws. Ahh well Bob, thongs ain’t what they used to be!

Carolyn and Jamie return from a successful ascent of Pointe Louise (3668m) by the South-East Ridge (AD) above the Glacier Blanc having gone up to bivvi the previous day.

Friday 26^th July

It’s hot, and sunny again with some cloud. I’m tired and not feeling well; rest day for me ..... or it’s supposed to be. But it’s Vicky’s turn to climb and by afternoon any sympathy is gone and I’m dragged to Paroi au Dessus de la Draye for Adios, Trépidentes!! (180m. 6 pitches. 5c max). Over our post-route beer and chips we spy Kevin and Alice heading for the same route.

Bob walks up to check out the Glacier Noir then goes hunting for the rare Isabelle butterfly that is only found near the campsite and later reports a 40% chance of a sighting.

Steve and James complete an impressive traverse of Mont Pelvoux (3943m) with ascent via the Salouze Glacier and Mettrier Couloir (AD) and descent via the Violettes Glacier (PD). It’s been a big day out and a great effort. Finding us at the bar Steve relates the tale. It’s all been very efficient; a pair working together in perfect harmony, supporting each other every step of the way.

Colin, “Where’s James.”

Steve, “Oh! Er! Well he was a few hundred yards behind me an hour ago”.

Al, Trish, Kate and Christine walk up to Bosse de Clapouse in the heat of the day, whilst Jim and Philippa walk to Pré de Madame Carle. Dave and Kathryn go cragging at Balcons D’Ailefroide. Duncan and Gareth climb Serfouette Express (180m. 6 pitches. 6a max) on Minus Palavar and Emma, Emily and Jasmine do a little light cragging and some serious ice-cream eating.

Higher up the valley, above the Glacier Noire, Alan and Thomas make an attempt on Soleil Trompeur (TD UIAA V1+ 14 pitches) on Pointe 2840m of the Pointe de la Grande Sagne but retreat from the upper wall after about seven pitches to find Alan’s trekking poles eaten by Marmots!

Andy and Jo return from a high mountain form of Brownian Motion; the apparent random movement of trekkers through an alpine environment.

From Monetier-les-Bains via GR54 to the Col d’Arsinne (2340m), they descend boulder fields to Refuge de L’Alpe de Villar D’Arenne (2077m). Day 2 follows the Torrent du Clot des Cavales, the huge lateral moraine of the Glacier du Clot des Cavales and a steep pull to a high point of 2889m before crossing old snow to a fine vista at the Refuge du Pave (2841m); and back to Refuge de L’Alpe for the night.

Day 3 takes them north to the Col de Lauteret via an impressive traverse of ‘Les Sentier des Crevasses’ with close views of La Meije. Sustained by coffee and Faggotte du Cycliste (back with ‘Le Tour’ perhaps?) they head south east on GR50 and leave the sweltering valley to join the old military road of the Chemin du Roy, before sauntering down to Le Lauzet for the night. A lift to Monetier in the morning proceeds uplift to Le Bacchus at 2177m, to cross the Col de l’Eychauda (2425m), descent to the Chambran valley and thus back to Ailefroide

Saturday 27^th July

I have a proper rest day. It’s very hot with clear blue skies; appropriately Duncan and Andy go to Paroi au Dessus de la Draye to do Two Hot Men (180m. 8 pitches. 6a max). They find it busy but with some Lee gamesmanship they jump the queue by starting up the first couple of pitches of Chaud Chicken (6a+, 6a).

Emma and Emily do Adios Trepidentes!! (180m. 6 pitches. 5c max) then take further liberties with the dress code as they add extra interest to the local undulations sunbathing in the campsite. Bob fortunately has walked to the Sele Hut and is enjoying more craggy vistas.

Christine and Laura walk to Lac de l’Eydhauda from Chambran. Vicky and Kieran go cragging with new friends from the campsite and later with Andy at Sous la Fissure. It grows windy later in the afternoon and Gareth and Lucy return rather dehydrated and frazzled from a long route on Face Sud de la Draye having shared leads on Pets de Rupricaprins (500m. 16 pitches. 6a max).

Meanwhile, Jim & Philippa, Alice & Kevin, Al & Trish and Dave & Kathryn make a mass ascent of Spit in Cup (200m. 7 pitches. 5b+ max). Philippa pushes the boat out and leads 1a! Later Vicky compares route descriptions with Ein, Zwei, Draye and concludes that they have all done the wrong route! I concluded that Vicky took me to the wrong route on Wednesday!!

Evening and everyone seems content. Down in the lower field there is a game of frisbee. Jim hurls the plastic disc with all the raw power that only he can muster.

Andy, “So, according to UKC the way to knot ones bootlaces above 4000m is .... thwak .... gulp!”

Jim, “Aye, you realise that’s 50% your fault for getting your gob in the way.”

At the time of writing we are still waiting for the frisbee to pass.

Sunday 28^th August

As bat’s flit between the trees and tents in the blackness of the night the saloon doors at the end of the toilet block burst open. The President emerges, John Wayne like, and orders the assembled throng to “GO TO BED”. A dozen or so bemused climbers disperse into the darkness.

But we’ll come to all that later. It’s a cloudier morning with strong winds forecast; clouds scud across the summits. Bob takes Lucie to Briançon for a tour of the military fortifications. He surveys the scene and explains how they command all three valleys so there’s no possibility of surprise. Lucie (from behind), “BOO!”

I go over to Face Sud de la Draye again with Vicky to right a wrong by actually doing Ein, Zwei, Draye (250m. 6 pitches. 5c max), taking care to lead the way this time. But we find James, Steve and Laura on the first pitch, who think they are on Spit in Cup!! We do the nearby Laissez Bronzer Les Cadavres (200m. 6 pitches. 6a max) instead: a good route with some well spaced bolts.

Kathryn, Dave, Al, Trish, Christine, Kevin and Alice go cragging at Casse de Prelles, a quartzite crag towards Briançon. Gareth and Carolyn try the steeper pitches in La Gorge climbing 6b and 6c. Jamie cycles via Vallouise to Entre les Aygues. Alan and Thomas head home to Munich. Jasmine spends the afternoon drawing on Emma!

Soon darkness envelopes the valley and peaks; and so it comes to pass that high above the campsite atop the 280m Fissue D’Ailefroide alone in the night Duncan chants, “Ding” to the moon and stars. Lower down the valley the men in white coats begin to stir.

But it’s actually a bit more worrying than a hippy gone walkabout. Ding and José are missing in the evening having gone off to do a multi-pitch route in the afternoon. Earlier conversations suggests they could be on Fissure D’Ailefroide or the neighbouring Snoopy.

Duncan, James and I go up the descent path in the dark to look for them; but there’s no sign or response to Duncan’s calls. We check out the base of the crag then try to persuade others that not knowing where they are there is nothing to be done until morning and we set alarms for first light. It may not be the President’s duty to tell grown men and women to go to bed but I do.

Jim comes to say Ding is back about 2.20am, a bit battered from a fall. Christine is checking her over. They have been on a different crag than we thought, out of sight from the campsite. Finding they couldn’t walk off as they expected they have struggled to descend with a single rope. José is still stuck on the crag with the rope jammed; Ding has somehow scrambled off.

The gendarmerie is called now that we have something to tell them and Dave and Bob come to the fore and are stars with their command of French. We go to the village to meet the rescue team.

Precisely why Bob punched me in the face at this point remains unclear! After all, I was pretty sure that none of this was even 50% my fault. Presumably, by this stage Bob was so far into his French idiom that the Gallic hand gestures were simply out of control. Bob, James, Jim, Dave and I go up to Palavar with the Gendarmes to help carry equipment.

Gendarme to Bob, “Bring that please.” He points to a very heavy looking compressor.

Bob, quick as a flash, “James, he wants you to bring that.”

James, “Oh! Right. Okay.”

James shoulders the compressor and sets of resolutely on the 40 minute walk to the crag. I nearly wet myself. At the crag, we try to contact José with the walkie-talkie that Ding has given us.

Bob, “Juan, Juan, come in Juan, are you reading me Juan.”

Silence.

“Er, Bob, his name is José.”

Bob, “Ahh! José, José, come in José.”

“Yes, this ees me.”

The Gendarmes prepare to try a rescue, but the rain comes around 4.00am, the precursor of a storm, and we are sent down. They, and Jose, may have to wait until it passes. José is just in T-shirt and leggings, sat in his harness.

On the way down, each lost in his thoughts, Bob suddenly exclaims, “Damn! These are my only pyjamas and now they’re soaking wet.” There’s nothing you can say to that.

Back at the tents about 5.30am, there is heavy rain, thunder and lightning through the rest of the night into the morning and thus Sunday 28^th merges worryingly into Monday 29^th.

Monday 29^th July

The cloud persists thick and low well into the morning preventing a rescue, but José is eventually whisked off by helicopter at the first feasible break in the clag around 10.30am and taken straight to hospital in Briançon. The cloud fills in the crag almost immediately. He’s hypothermic but is able to walk into the ward to see Ding who Christine took there the previous evening. They’re back at camp later in the afternoon after Ding has had a scan and both have rested. José climbs the next day.

So the morals of this tale, apart from set off earlier, tell someone where you’re going, take a head-torch, know your way off and stick together to work things out when they go pear shaped, are:

Don’t stand too close to Bob when he’s talking French
Never carry anything heavy that someone else can
Always have spare pyjamas in an emergency
Stay calm when there is nothing you can do, and
GO TO BED

It’s very wet again after the rescue and into the afternoon when the cloud largely clears. Optimistically, despite the rain, Andy and Steve get ready to go up to the Ecrins Hut but have to abandon their plan. Andy re-books the hut.

“My name is Stratford.”

“Spell please.”

In his best phonetic French, “Ess, thé, arr, ahh, thé ...

“Que?”

“Sigh! S-T-R-A-T-F-O-R-D as in .... er .... well, Stratford.”

Tuesday 30^th July

The forecast is good for the rest of the week and after a cold night the day dawns into clear blue skies. Emma and Kathryn depart early for England.

Duncan and I go up the valley for a multi-pitch route taking Gareth to bring down the average age. Fukushima, Mon Amour (300m. 10 pitches. 6a+ & AO max) has two pitches with a point of aid which Duncan and I eliminate in turn on the lead. Higher, a mumbled apology drifts down the rope from Gareth. We smirk, the old men have each removed an aid point, the youngster has added one!

Kevin and Al and Jim and Merion Climb Coulis de Vertibres (250m, 8 pitches, 6a max). Lucie, Laura and Jo walk to the Glacier Blanc Hut via Pré de Madame Carle. Alice, Philippa, Jose and Trish go cragging at Secteur sous la Fissure, while Christine walks to the Glacier Noir and Kate and Dave go up to the Sele Hut for the night. Bob walks to the Pelvoux Hut where he enjoys great views. Steve and Andy head to the Ecrins Hut for the traverse of the Barre des Ecrins (4101m).

Wednesday 31^st July

Duncan and I are up at 6.00am to clear blue skies for something a bit more like alpinism - Soleil Trompeur (500m. 14 pitches. TD UIAA VI+. 6b max) on the Aig du Sanguise.. A 9 hour 20 minute round trip from the Pré de Madame Carle gives good climbing, mostly 5b and above, with a 6b overhanging jamming crack that Duncan leads. The descent description warns of rope eating flakes, but we do nine abseils and the only thing we get our rope stuck on is a Frenchman!

Bob enjoys a successful solo assault on Cime de la Condamine (2940m) which proves an excellent route with grade 1 and 2 scrambling along the fine Cullin-like ridge with great views of Les Ecrins. In the valley, Lucie, Gareth, Laura, James and Merion do a few routes at Secteur sous la Fissure but it is very hot and busy. Kevin and Alice and Al and John do the long Pets de Rupricaprins (500m. 16 pitches. 6a max) on the Tête de la Draye.

Carolyn and Jamie return from a casual ascent of Mont Pelvoux (3943m) via the Coolidge Couloir (PD), an Ecrins classic, having sneaked off to bivvi the previous evening. James, Jim and Merion head off in the late afternoon to bivvi near the Glacier Blanc Hut ready for the Pointe des Cinêastes.

Later that evening, Colin to Kieran, “You can put my pizza box on the fire if you are supervised by a responsible adult. Do you know a responsible adult?”

Kieran, “No.” Enough said!

Thursday 1^st August

Yet another day of almost cloudless blue skies. I rebel and spend much of day in the bar.

So Gareth and Vicky climb the aptly named Cascade Blues (250m. 8 pitches. 6a max) with an exciting and wet crossing of the cascade on pitch four. Jamie and Carolyn complete La Cocarde (6 pitches, 5c max) on the Poire and Kevin, Alice, Al and Merion do Chaud Biz (7 Pitches, 5c max) at Paroi au Dessus de la Draye.

But meanwhile, high on the Pointe Cinêastes (3365m) a drama is playing out. Steve is spread eagle across the crag. This feels harder than it should; he eases the bridge wider to painful limits.

Andy, “I say Graham old chap.”

Steve, “What ho Stratford; a tad tricky this.”

Andy, “What a very fine view we have of the normal route over there.”

Steve, “What! You mean the route we’re supposed to be on?”

Andy, “Quite so, bit of a cock up. You realise this is 50% your fault.”

Steve, “Oooh, me f-----g groin!”

Thus a short detour from AD gives the lads a taste of TD in big boots. They’re back about 7.00pm having done the Pointe Cinêastes ..... partly by the wrong route (Voi Piton – TD. UIAA 5+)! But, right mountain wrong route is progress of sorts. Jim, James and Merion return a little later having made a matter of fact, trouble free ascent of the multi-pinnacled South Ridge (AD).

The previous day Steve and Andy had made a fine traverse of the Barre des Ecrins (4101m) from the Ecrins Hut, ascending in the dark via the impressive Barre Noire North Couloir (AD) and then the North-East Ridge and down the West Ridge and North Face (PD) and back to the Glacier Blanc Hut ..... or did they?

The Ladies Luncheon Club take a trip to Vallouise to the market and swimming pool. Duncan and Kieran go bouldering with other families from the campsite. Bob takes a walk to Bosse de Clapouse and Jo and Phillipa walk to Lac de l’Eychauda.

Dave and Kate depart and meet up with friends in Saint-Laurent-du-Pont, in the Chartreuse area, and early next day Dave does a couple of via ferrata routes on the spectacular and occasionally overhanging limestone of the Roche Veyrand above Saint-Pierre-d'Entremont.

Friday 2^nd August

The last full day and it’s another of blue skies; very warm with a breeze higher up. Bob takes a walk to Pré de Madame Carle with his wild flower book to study the flora. Steve has returned from altitude suffering from oxygen deprivation:

Steve, “Has Bob gone off somewhere.”

Colin, “Yes he’s gone for a walk with his wild flower book.”

Steve, “Oh, is he looking for his butterfly.”

Colin, “Not with his wild flower book.”

Lucie leads Gareth and me up a two pitch route at Draye Gauche and learns to tie the European death knot. Then with Gareth I finally do Ein, Zwei, Draye (250m. 6 pitches. 5c max). Laura and Christine go to the Sele hut. Otherwise it is a general chilling day, with a bit of cragging and bouldering. Duncan, Vicky, Al, Trish, Carolyn, Jamie, José and Ding all head home.

That night the remaining folk gather around the camp fire and talk turns to highlights of the holiday. Bob bemoans the state of his pyjamas.

Andy, “The back of your pyjamas was nothing compared to the state of Steve’s backside after I’d finished with it on the Pointes des Cinéastes!”

Sometimes I think he’s trying to get into the meet report.

Saturday 3^rd August

I re-calibrate my bladder to the petrol gauge and Bob and I commence operation ‘Homeward Bound’ at 06:30 hours. Gareth and Lucie have already left, others follow. We make excellent time across France and we’re back in Salford at 10.50pm ...... and so to the rest of the poem:

Andy recces before the night
To know the way by morning’s light
Steve and James join the assault
Soon they both must share the fault

Ever upwards towards the top
On summit’s rocks they finally stop
And see afar beneath the sun
The peak they really should be on!